Running For Congress

Everyone who knows me knows that I am acutely aware of the 5 senses, particularly smell.

That’s why I’m proud to announce the arrival of my new fragrance, “BaldingScents.” It’s a mixture of my favorite smells: gasoline, three-day-old cigarettes, cash money, Vanilla Ice Cream, bleach, and dirt. It smells awesome. When you walk around, people stop and look at you as if to say “Is that you that I’m smelling?” Well, folks, yes it is, and now, for the first time ever, you can smell like me, too. I’m personally bottling it in 100% recycled water bottles that still have their original labels. Just hook up a little squirt attachment to the top (sold separately) and spray away! You can smell like Michael! Your pet can smell like Michael! Your mobile home can smell like Michael! Your car can smell like Michael! Even your kids can smell like Michael! Buy some BaldingScents now!

Even congressional wannabes can buy BaldingScents and use it to attract votes!

I am also continuing my quest to expose Christopher Balding as a pretender in this years congressional race for the 34th district.

In his press release touting his primary victory, Chris claimed that he beat a "formidable Republican who has been the nominee for the past 10 years". So what Chris is really saying is, "I beat a guy who is so pathetic he lost 5 straight elections". That really is impressive. Imagine how formidable his opponent would have been if he had lost 8 or 9 straight elections!

Also, his claim that he beat the republican nominee for the past 10 years is incorrect. Chris beat Wayne Miller, who was the Republican nominee in 2002, 2004, and 2006 but not in 1998 or 2000 as Chris claimed. I demand an immediate retraction and apology to the electorate for this mistruth! Christopher Balding better get his campaign in order because I will not let the American people be misled by phony politicians in these dangerous and uncertain times! The people of the 34th district deserve a candidate who speaks honestly about the issues, not ones who misremember the truth for their own personal gain!

Watch out Chris, because this is just the beginning....................( I am still waiting for my $1100 check)