Please take a moment to ask yourself this question before reading this blog: “Am I a stupid person that can’t spell?” If yes, then answer this question: “Will I be offended if somebody, namely Michael Balding, makes fun of people that can’t spell?” If yes, then please visit another destination on the World Wide Web. Also, take solace in the fact that you know how to read at all, despite your shortcomings in the spelling department.
For those of you who remain: welcome. You’re among decent spellers. It feels good to get rid of the poor-spelling moon-faces. Good riddance.
I was at a gas station this weekend and heard a little girl ask her mother a question. This question might as well have been “Why am I so dumb?” but in actuality, it was “Do reindeer fly better when it’s raining?” Obviously, the girl thought that reindeer was spelled “rain deer.” Children are stupid. What sense is there in naming an animal after a weather condition? There is no such thing as a hail bear. Nor is there a sleet squirrel. The only exception to this rule is the snow leopard, which is named more for its coloring than its preference for cold weather. I’m also aware of ThunderCats, but they don’t count because they’re from the Star Wars universe
The point is, this girl didn’t know how to spell and her mother didn’t bother to correct her. That’s why I had to step in. I politely explained to the little girl that she was stupidly spelling the word incorrectly in her head. I went on to say that the rein in reindeer is spelled like that not because it refers to the reins that man uses to domesticate these animals, but because of the word’s etymological roots in the Norse languages. Additionally, I told her that reindeer are also known as caribou. The girl started crying and needless to say, I won’t be returning to fill up on the Northside of Bend anytime soon.
Spelling has always been important to me, I decided that, as an individual, I needed to make spelling a priority. As a result, I can easily spell “rhombus,” I sadly have no idea how to identify one.
Happy Holidays and a merry “That is all” to everyone.
