Last night i was drifting off to sleep around midnight when my phone rang. I groggily searched for my phone, wondering why someone would call me this late. I figured it had to be one of my sources deep inside the Athletic Department who was frantically trying to get inside information published in that days edition of the BaldingReport. I began going through schematics of local underground parking garages in my head in case the information was too sensitive to pass on over the phone.
Without checking the display on the phone i anxiously pressed the talk button.
The voice on the other end spoke immediately in a urgent tone "Michael we need to talk" said the voice.
Mistaking this voice for my high placed source in the Athletic Department, I responded by saying "Your to late, i already posted my blog today, it will have to wait until tomorrow."
By the swearing in the background i could tell the caller was agitated at my answer.
I braced for the response.
"Listen" the voice other end of the line said, "I don't care if you already wrote your blog entry for today, I am still pissing in this tree."
Damn you Justin Samudio.
BaldingReport out
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
A Sobering Reality
After my critically acclaimed posts of the past few days I began envisioning how my rise to blog stardom would shape itself. I imagined being quoted by legendary sports writer Ron Bellamy or perhaps duking it out on 1320AM with the Sports Idol himself. However my dreams took a sharp detour this afternoon after a discussion with friend of the blog Kevin Sully.
He informed me that I should look at how many hits my blog has gotten so i could accurately see how my rise to glory was shaping itself. I couldn't find a way to look at how many hits i had gotten, but i was able to find a website that measures web site popularity.
I was certain that this site would prove many things:
1) My blog is way more popular than anything Dan Rubenstein has ever produced
2) My blog had gone global
3) I was a force to be reckoned within the blogosphere community.
As i punched in the data my arms began to tingle with anticipation. After all the negative publicity i endured during my initial posts, my redemption was going to be sweeter than Aaron Brooks' was.
Then came the report.
My score: 0
I was shocked. According to this report my blog was less influential than websites such as popcornpalace.com and The Mattson Family Journal, a family journal that chronicles the life of
of a baby with no apparent upside or wingspan.
In light of these shocking revelations i must ask my loyal readers to spread the word about the BaldingReport. Melissa, I know you have hot friends who should be reading this right now.
I also ran a report on Rubenstein's blog to find out how negative his rating was. I was surprised to find out that his influence was rated a 28. While above 0, it is still below the rating of 257 that the popcorn site registered. The race to 29 is on.
BaldingReport Out.
He informed me that I should look at how many hits my blog has gotten so i could accurately see how my rise to glory was shaping itself. I couldn't find a way to look at how many hits i had gotten, but i was able to find a website that measures web site popularity.
I was certain that this site would prove many things:
1) My blog is way more popular than anything Dan Rubenstein has ever produced
2) My blog had gone global
3) I was a force to be reckoned within the blogosphere community.
As i punched in the data my arms began to tingle with anticipation. After all the negative publicity i endured during my initial posts, my redemption was going to be sweeter than Aaron Brooks' was.
Then came the report.
My score: 0
I was shocked. According to this report my blog was less influential than websites such as popcornpalace.com and The Mattson Family Journal, a family journal that chronicles the life of
of a baby with no apparent upside or wingspan.
In light of these shocking revelations i must ask my loyal readers to spread the word about the BaldingReport. Melissa, I know you have hot friends who should be reading this right now.
I also ran a report on Rubenstein's blog to find out how negative his rating was. I was surprised to find out that his influence was rated a 28. While above 0, it is still below the rating of 257 that the popcorn site registered. The race to 29 is on.
BaldingReport Out.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
America's Pastime
While the overall season of 24 was a disappointment (Bauer's kill count for the day only ended up at 49), the series finale actually was intriguing to me. What intrigued me about the episode was a quote by acting President Noah Daniels, who despite being President for only 8 hours managed to nearly lead the US into two different wars. Said Daniels "Until you get to this position you have no idea of your responsibility. Its easy for everyone to think they know, but until you sit in this chair no one has a clue."
Because Daniels is portrayed as a grouchy Texan, I immediately started thinking about this quote in the context of our own grouchy Texan President, Mr. Bush.
I always thought of Bush as a President who simply didn't get it. I assumed that he simply did not understand the context of his decisions how those decisions could have a ripple down effect throughout society in later years (IE Iraq). I thought Bush was like the coach of a Little League team who makes his pitcher throw 232 pitches each start because he needs a pitcher and doesn't understand that kids who pitch that much always end up blowing their arms out. .
However after watching 24, I realized I was wrong about what type of Little League coach George Bush is. He isn't the completely inept coach, but instead is the coach who will do anything to win because he assumes that everything will fall apart if his team loses. These are the coaches who scream at the umps, or use ineligible players in 4th grade (Kelly Bradetich I still hate you) Losing is not an option to these coaches. They act like each game is the World Series, when in reality they are the coach of a 2nd grade girls Tball team.
I feel Bush, much like the second grade Tball coach, believes what he is doing is so important that failure will lead to cataclysmic results. That is why we are seeing Secret Prisons, Warrantless wiretaps, Pre-emptive wars, etc.... Bush is handling his presidency like it is game 7 of the World Series when in fact, there is a lot of baseball left to be played. Bush is making desperate moves to try to win now, that undoubtedly will bite him in the ass later on. Bush needs to learn that you don't pinch hit for the pitcher in the third inning even if the bases are loaded because of how it limits a team later on in the game (Were talking National League here)
I only hope that if Bush does elect for a pinch Pinch hitter, that the guy hits a grand slam because Bush doesn't have a lot of options out in the bullpen and he needs all the help he can get.
Oh, and this is the best Youtube video of all time. I want to be a child of mother nature just like Malibu.
BaldingReportOut
Because Daniels is portrayed as a grouchy Texan, I immediately started thinking about this quote in the context of our own grouchy Texan President, Mr. Bush.
I always thought of Bush as a President who simply didn't get it. I assumed that he simply did not understand the context of his decisions how those decisions could have a ripple down effect throughout society in later years (IE Iraq). I thought Bush was like the coach of a Little League team who makes his pitcher throw 232 pitches each start because he needs a pitcher and doesn't understand that kids who pitch that much always end up blowing their arms out. .
However after watching 24, I realized I was wrong about what type of Little League coach George Bush is. He isn't the completely inept coach, but instead is the coach who will do anything to win because he assumes that everything will fall apart if his team loses. These are the coaches who scream at the umps, or use ineligible players in 4th grade (Kelly Bradetich I still hate you) Losing is not an option to these coaches. They act like each game is the World Series, when in reality they are the coach of a 2nd grade girls Tball team.
I feel Bush, much like the second grade Tball coach, believes what he is doing is so important that failure will lead to cataclysmic results. That is why we are seeing Secret Prisons, Warrantless wiretaps, Pre-emptive wars, etc.... Bush is handling his presidency like it is game 7 of the World Series when in fact, there is a lot of baseball left to be played. Bush is making desperate moves to try to win now, that undoubtedly will bite him in the ass later on. Bush needs to learn that you don't pinch hit for the pitcher in the third inning even if the bases are loaded because of how it limits a team later on in the game (Were talking National League here)
I only hope that if Bush does elect for a pinch Pinch hitter, that the guy hits a grand slam because Bush doesn't have a lot of options out in the bullpen and he needs all the help he can get.
Oh, and this is the best Youtube video of all time. I want to be a child of mother nature just like Malibu.
BaldingReportOut
Monday, May 28, 2007
Tony Bennett
Today is a sad day for Oregon Basketball. Michael Harthun, the Medford PG who has a "Blake Stepp feel to his game", has spurned the Ducks and instead will go play for WSU instead. Several days ago i blogged about how important it was for Oregon to land Harthun and those words fell on deaf ears to everyone but one person, Tony Bennett, the head coach of WSU. It is no coincidence that immediately after i posted my evaluation of Harthun, WSU swooped in and picked him up.
This leads to only one conclusion: Tony Bennett is an active reader of the BaldingReport. Knowing that other Pac Ten coaches are mining my blog for basketball tidbits is encouraging and certainly gives me legitimacy, but at the same time it is cause for concern. I am afraid that opposing teams will use this blog to gain an unfair advantage over the Ducks.
I am certain the more extreme members of the Oregon sports media (Bellamy, Giansante, Bob Welch, etc...) will demand I quit posting basketball related content out of respect for the Ducks, but my allegiance is to my readers and not my favorites sports teams. So rest easy tonight Mr. Bennett, there is more information on the way.
BaldingReport Out.
This leads to only one conclusion: Tony Bennett is an active reader of the BaldingReport. Knowing that other Pac Ten coaches are mining my blog for basketball tidbits is encouraging and certainly gives me legitimacy, but at the same time it is cause for concern. I am afraid that opposing teams will use this blog to gain an unfair advantage over the Ducks.
I am certain the more extreme members of the Oregon sports media (Bellamy, Giansante, Bob Welch, etc...) will demand I quit posting basketball related content out of respect for the Ducks, but my allegiance is to my readers and not my favorites sports teams. So rest easy tonight Mr. Bennett, there is more information on the way.
BaldingReport Out.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
The Breakup
Here is the timeline for the last 30 minutes of my life
11:38 PM-- Justin calls me (obviously drunk, he berates me for falling asleep on my clothes pile the night before)
11:45 PM-- Justin is estatic that he is able to walk in the apartment while talking on the phone to me.
11:46 PM-- We begin talking about his girlfriend and its clear the night is going to be a classic. Justin describes in detail the conversation they had last night that began at 2 AM that in his words "included several trips to the bathroom". We decide he should just tell his girl "we're done" and hang up.
11:48 PM-- At this stage i am convinced that Justin's blood alcohol level is at last .2 as it takes him like 6 attempts to dial her number. It goes to a message machine
11:48 PM-- In a twist that rivals something out of Lost, Justin breaks out his frat boy charms and calmly leaves a message saying how he hopes to talk to her tomorrow. I figured Justin had a higher chance of outright passing out than leaving a coherent message.
11: 49PM-- She calls him back. This is unexpected seeing as she is in NY and its 2:49 AM there.
11:49 PM: Justin calmly answers the phone. The tension is palpable. At this stage, Justin is like Mike Tyson where he could literally say or do anything.
11:50 PM They have a quick conversation that she ends by her saying she is waiting for a taxi. I ask Justin where she is going at 3AM in New York, and he immediately calls her a liar saying he knows she is full of lies.
11:52 PM Justin calls her back demanding to know if her cab is yellow or checkered. Justin wants me to hear her lies so he puts the cell phone on speaker phone. She clearly is not in a cab and states that her cab is actually coming in an hours time. Justin calls her out. The conversation awkwardly ends with her saying something unintelligible.
11:56 PM- She calls Justin back. Justin opens the conversation by telling her "he was having one of the most fun weekends ever with her not here". A great opening line.
She responds by telling Justin that he has 1o different personalities and wonders why he drinks so much. Justin ignores her comment about the personalities and tells her that he drinks a lot because of how often he is with her.
She then tells him that he is not perfect. Justin (acting like he believes it) tells her that he is perfect. She says nobody wants a perfect person, to which Justin replies "who wouldn't want a perfect person??" Seems logical to me.
The conversation drags on for awhile and they began discussing Memorial Day. Justin tells her that "this relantionSHIT needs a memorial." Notice the emphasis he put on the the word relationship.
At the end of the the conversation she asks Justin "are you going to try make this work" his response "NO". Talk about a conversation killer.
12:15 AM- the phone call ends and justin calls his girlfriend "a stage 20 clinger" and says her taxi is probably the color "smarmalade"
All in all Justin validated his status as one of Eugene's top 5 drunks. A great night.
The best part of this post is that Justin actually proofread it for me and pointed out that I should use the word palpable in place of breathtaking. Top 5 indeed.
BaldingReport Out.
11:38 PM-- Justin calls me (obviously drunk, he berates me for falling asleep on my clothes pile the night before)
11:45 PM-- Justin is estatic that he is able to walk in the apartment while talking on the phone to me.
11:46 PM-- We begin talking about his girlfriend and its clear the night is going to be a classic. Justin describes in detail the conversation they had last night that began at 2 AM that in his words "included several trips to the bathroom". We decide he should just tell his girl "we're done" and hang up.
11:48 PM-- At this stage i am convinced that Justin's blood alcohol level is at last .2 as it takes him like 6 attempts to dial her number. It goes to a message machine
11:48 PM-- In a twist that rivals something out of Lost, Justin breaks out his frat boy charms and calmly leaves a message saying how he hopes to talk to her tomorrow. I figured Justin had a higher chance of outright passing out than leaving a coherent message.
11: 49PM-- She calls him back. This is unexpected seeing as she is in NY and its 2:49 AM there.
11:49 PM: Justin calmly answers the phone. The tension is palpable. At this stage, Justin is like Mike Tyson where he could literally say or do anything.
11:50 PM They have a quick conversation that she ends by her saying she is waiting for a taxi. I ask Justin where she is going at 3AM in New York, and he immediately calls her a liar saying he knows she is full of lies.
11:52 PM Justin calls her back demanding to know if her cab is yellow or checkered. Justin wants me to hear her lies so he puts the cell phone on speaker phone. She clearly is not in a cab and states that her cab is actually coming in an hours time. Justin calls her out. The conversation awkwardly ends with her saying something unintelligible.
11:56 PM- She calls Justin back. Justin opens the conversation by telling her "he was having one of the most fun weekends ever with her not here". A great opening line.
She responds by telling Justin that he has 1o different personalities and wonders why he drinks so much. Justin ignores her comment about the personalities and tells her that he drinks a lot because of how often he is with her.
She then tells him that he is not perfect. Justin (acting like he believes it) tells her that he is perfect. She says nobody wants a perfect person, to which Justin replies "who wouldn't want a perfect person??" Seems logical to me.
The conversation drags on for awhile and they began discussing Memorial Day. Justin tells her that "this relantionSHIT needs a memorial." Notice the emphasis he put on the the word relationship.
At the end of the the conversation she asks Justin "are you going to try make this work" his response "NO". Talk about a conversation killer.
12:15 AM- the phone call ends and justin calls his girlfriend "a stage 20 clinger" and says her taxi is probably the color "smarmalade"
All in all Justin validated his status as one of Eugene's top 5 drunks. A great night.
The best part of this post is that Justin actually proofread it for me and pointed out that I should use the word palpable in place of breathtaking. Top 5 indeed.
BaldingReport Out.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Wild Week
I know I have not posted since Monday but i have been working on a big undercover assignment that has been taking up a lot of my time. Details to follow. Anyway on to the big news of the week.
Undoubtedly the biggest news of the week was the hiring of Yasir Rosemond as an assistant coach for the mens basketball team. Rosemond is a interesting choice for a number of reasons.
1)His past basketball troubles- He was actually cut from the Oregon team while he was a player under Kent and was subsequently kicked off the D2 team he transferred to for behavioral problems. Traditionally those things are not on the resume of an assistant coach. Ivan Johnson better be polishing up his resume.
2) How good of a team Oregon can form from assistant coaches- Oregon now has Kenny Payne, Rosemond, and Mark Hudson as assistant coaches. Payne is still in his late 30's and was a 1st round NBA draft pick. Hudson is a better shooter than Tajuan Porter and is still young, while Rosemond was playing Div 1 basketball less than ten years ago. I have to imagine Oregon would dominate a nationwide assistant coaches 3 on 3 tourney. The only team that may be able to match up the Ducks would be Arizona since they have Miles Simon, Josh Pastner, and Matt Brase, all of whom are ex arizona players around the age of 30. The Arizona team would inevitably however play a brutal non-conference schedule, underachieve in the conference season, and then exit the tourney early despite their awesome talent. (Yes i did actually research on this topic so please email me if you can think of a better team comprised of assistant coaches)
3) Ernie Kent's strategy to hire the most passive coaches imaginable- In my years as an Oregon Basketball insider i probably attended 200 mens basketball practices and in probably 190 of those Ernie Kent was the only coach who actually paid attention to what was happening. At practice was actually the only coach who had a practice schedule. None of the other assistants did. I think that Kent hires these passive/underqualified assistants because he can exert more influence on the team and thus take more credit for the success of the program.
For example, Fred Litzenberg got a lot of the credit for improving the team during the 2001 elite 8 season after he was brought over from the womens team. He was a good defensive coach who seemed to be a natural fit with Oregon since he was the only coach with a defensive background. Kent however disliked not having control over the defense and constantly began coaching the defense in practice himself, while Litzenberg was literally told to go stand in the corner. In my opinion Kent was upset at the notion that he couldn't coach defense and in effect took over Litzenberg's job in order to show everyone that he was a good enough coach to coach all aspects of the game.
Anyway, Rosemond is certainly an interesting hire for Kent and it will be interesting to see if is able to contribute more than previous Oregon assistants have. Still you have to be happy for the man seeing as he may now get paid 80K a year to arrange the travel itinerary of the team. Not a bad deal.
I feel bad for you non-sports enthusiasts since this was a deeply basketball related post but do not worry because tomorrow i will divulge all the secrets of my big birthday bash.
BaldingReport out.
Undoubtedly the biggest news of the week was the hiring of Yasir Rosemond as an assistant coach for the mens basketball team. Rosemond is a interesting choice for a number of reasons.
1)His past basketball troubles- He was actually cut from the Oregon team while he was a player under Kent and was subsequently kicked off the D2 team he transferred to for behavioral problems. Traditionally those things are not on the resume of an assistant coach. Ivan Johnson better be polishing up his resume.
2) How good of a team Oregon can form from assistant coaches- Oregon now has Kenny Payne, Rosemond, and Mark Hudson as assistant coaches. Payne is still in his late 30's and was a 1st round NBA draft pick. Hudson is a better shooter than Tajuan Porter and is still young, while Rosemond was playing Div 1 basketball less than ten years ago. I have to imagine Oregon would dominate a nationwide assistant coaches 3 on 3 tourney. The only team that may be able to match up the Ducks would be Arizona since they have Miles Simon, Josh Pastner, and Matt Brase, all of whom are ex arizona players around the age of 30. The Arizona team would inevitably however play a brutal non-conference schedule, underachieve in the conference season, and then exit the tourney early despite their awesome talent. (Yes i did actually research on this topic so please email me if you can think of a better team comprised of assistant coaches)
3) Ernie Kent's strategy to hire the most passive coaches imaginable- In my years as an Oregon Basketball insider i probably attended 200 mens basketball practices and in probably 190 of those Ernie Kent was the only coach who actually paid attention to what was happening. At practice was actually the only coach who had a practice schedule. None of the other assistants did. I think that Kent hires these passive/underqualified assistants because he can exert more influence on the team and thus take more credit for the success of the program.
For example, Fred Litzenberg got a lot of the credit for improving the team during the 2001 elite 8 season after he was brought over from the womens team. He was a good defensive coach who seemed to be a natural fit with Oregon since he was the only coach with a defensive background. Kent however disliked not having control over the defense and constantly began coaching the defense in practice himself, while Litzenberg was literally told to go stand in the corner. In my opinion Kent was upset at the notion that he couldn't coach defense and in effect took over Litzenberg's job in order to show everyone that he was a good enough coach to coach all aspects of the game.
Anyway, Rosemond is certainly an interesting hire for Kent and it will be interesting to see if is able to contribute more than previous Oregon assistants have. Still you have to be happy for the man seeing as he may now get paid 80K a year to arrange the travel itinerary of the team. Not a bad deal.
I feel bad for you non-sports enthusiasts since this was a deeply basketball related post but do not worry because tomorrow i will divulge all the secrets of my big birthday bash.
BaldingReport out.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Lazy Sunday
As promised here is the rundown on my Sunday breakfast
1) The church going crowd- It is always unnerving when i go out to eat breakfast around 1030 on a Sunday because of how obvious it is that i was the only person in the restaurant who did not just arrive from Church. Normally this sort of thing wouldn't bother me but its tough to feel good about yourself when your hungover, dressed in a wrinkly shirt, ready to go home to play 3 hours of Grand Theft Auto, and everyone else around you just got done building houses for poor people.
2) My sister- My sister goes to school at Hamilton college which is located in some quaint upstate New York town that has like 5 buildings. Hamilton is a wannabe Ivy league school that despite being a step below all the Ivy league colleges, actually has the 4th highest tuition rate of any college in America. This means it attracts all the rich, entitled, egotistical east coast kids who think they are really smart, but actually aren't. It is always funny when my sister comes home after being in that environment because for the first 48 hours or so she is home she acts like typical east coast crybaby. This breakfast took place at the end of that 48 hour period so it was good to see her transform herself from complete snob to likable person in a period of 45 minutes.
3) The breakfast burrito- I am convinced that someone could put dog shit in a tortilla mixed with eggs, call it a breakfast burrito, and it would still taste good. These things are the most underrated food item of all time.
I realize that I have neglected to mention politics at all this Blog Season, and have been talking about subjects in a very "Dan Rubenstein-esque" way these last few posts. These types of posting are like the episodes in 24 that set up the real climatic episodes where Bauer ends up killing 15 plus people. I have set up tomorrows post and expect it to equal a 24 episode where Bauer's kill count is double digits.
1) The church going crowd- It is always unnerving when i go out to eat breakfast around 1030 on a Sunday because of how obvious it is that i was the only person in the restaurant who did not just arrive from Church. Normally this sort of thing wouldn't bother me but its tough to feel good about yourself when your hungover, dressed in a wrinkly shirt, ready to go home to play 3 hours of Grand Theft Auto, and everyone else around you just got done building houses for poor people.
2) My sister- My sister goes to school at Hamilton college which is located in some quaint upstate New York town that has like 5 buildings. Hamilton is a wannabe Ivy league school that despite being a step below all the Ivy league colleges, actually has the 4th highest tuition rate of any college in America. This means it attracts all the rich, entitled, egotistical east coast kids who think they are really smart, but actually aren't. It is always funny when my sister comes home after being in that environment because for the first 48 hours or so she is home she acts like typical east coast crybaby. This breakfast took place at the end of that 48 hour period so it was good to see her transform herself from complete snob to likable person in a period of 45 minutes.
3) The breakfast burrito- I am convinced that someone could put dog shit in a tortilla mixed with eggs, call it a breakfast burrito, and it would still taste good. These things are the most underrated food item of all time.
I realize that I have neglected to mention politics at all this Blog Season, and have been talking about subjects in a very "Dan Rubenstein-esque" way these last few posts. These types of posting are like the episodes in 24 that set up the real climatic episodes where Bauer ends up killing 15 plus people. I have set up tomorrows post and expect it to equal a 24 episode where Bauer's kill count is double digits.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
The Real Balding Report
Apparently the Real Balding Report was a study done in England that showed an increase in cannabis use among male teenagers. The report stated that the increase in the use of this drug was because many youths in Briton assumed that the drug had been legalized, when in fact it was still illegal. I can see the headline now "Man claims he was too high to realize drug use illegal". Anyway i have to say its an honor to be associated with such a famed and important study that really impacted the world. Tomorrow on the Balding Report expect an in-depth breakdown of my Sunday brunch (That is called a teaser by the way)
Balding Report out
Balding Report out
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Michael Harthun
Michael Harthun is the without a doubt the 5th best high school basketball prospect i have ever seen. In order the list goes
1) Kevin Love---has my game but 8 more inches and 100 more pounds. Good to know had i had better genes i would have been great. Number 2 rated prospect in the country by someone
2) Kyle Singler- Make that really smart, dirty, annoying guy in your rec league 6 8 with handles and athelticism and you get Kyle Singler. Number 5 propsect in country
3) Michael Harthun--Second best shooter in history of basketball. 6-3 PG who lead his team to victory over Love in State time game as a Jr. In a game witnessed by Kevin Sully scored like 60 points in the first quarter
4) Blake Stepp- Best Shooter in the history of Basketball. Drafted in 2nd round
5) Luke Jackson. Kyle Singler but goofy. Lotto Pick by Cavs
Ernie Kent tried to recruit all of the players on this list, and you would think that with 7 scholarships available for next season he would attempt to recruit the one who is still in High School. Not the case though. For some Mindboggling reason, Kent has yet to offer Harthun a scholarship. Maybe it is his dream to compose his team entirely of players who went to Renaissance High School in Detroit.
Not only is Harthun a legit player on the national scene, but Oregon bball seems to produce a lot of local talent that goes under the radar (Ad Smith, Jackson, David Lucas @OSU, Shea washington).
Kent needs to wake up and realize that not only is Harthun the real deal, but that Oregon has embraces local players, and those players seem to excel.
Mark my words. If Harthun doesnt end up at Oregon, it will be his failed recruitment and not the failed recruitment of Love and Singler that will bring down Ernie Kent. With 7 scholarships ernie Kent will have to re-invent his team in the next few years and Harthun will either help build Kent up, or destroy him from as a player at some rival school.
I would make this blog entry way better but i promised to post everyday and its 11:54 PM so time is running out.
Baldingreport out
1) Kevin Love---has my game but 8 more inches and 100 more pounds. Good to know had i had better genes i would have been great. Number 2 rated prospect in the country by someone
2) Kyle Singler- Make that really smart, dirty, annoying guy in your rec league 6 8 with handles and athelticism and you get Kyle Singler. Number 5 propsect in country
3) Michael Harthun--Second best shooter in history of basketball. 6-3 PG who lead his team to victory over Love in State time game as a Jr. In a game witnessed by Kevin Sully scored like 60 points in the first quarter
4) Blake Stepp- Best Shooter in the history of Basketball. Drafted in 2nd round
5) Luke Jackson. Kyle Singler but goofy. Lotto Pick by Cavs
Ernie Kent tried to recruit all of the players on this list, and you would think that with 7 scholarships available for next season he would attempt to recruit the one who is still in High School. Not the case though. For some Mindboggling reason, Kent has yet to offer Harthun a scholarship. Maybe it is his dream to compose his team entirely of players who went to Renaissance High School in Detroit.
Not only is Harthun a legit player on the national scene, but Oregon bball seems to produce a lot of local talent that goes under the radar (Ad Smith, Jackson, David Lucas @OSU, Shea washington).
Kent needs to wake up and realize that not only is Harthun the real deal, but that Oregon has embraces local players, and those players seem to excel.
Mark my words. If Harthun doesnt end up at Oregon, it will be his failed recruitment and not the failed recruitment of Love and Singler that will bring down Ernie Kent. With 7 scholarships ernie Kent will have to re-invent his team in the next few years and Harthun will either help build Kent up, or destroy him from as a player at some rival school.
I would make this blog entry way better but i promised to post everyday and its 11:54 PM so time is running out.
Baldingreport out
Friday, May 18, 2007
I am really hungry
I see that Dan Rubenstein still has not updated his blog since i started mine. I knew i was good, but i didn't think i would have that much of an immediate impact. I always knew i eventually would force Rubenstein out, but i didn't think he was such a big pussy where he would give up without a fight. I at least figured he would show some heart.
I thought my impact on the blogosphere would be subdued at first and then pick up steam as more people became aware of how awesome my blog really was. But i clearly underestimated myself.
For comparison, I thought i would be like Jermaine O'neal where i sit on the bench and toil for a few years before breaking out. But to my surprise i am much more like Lebron, where despite the lofty expectations and the tough transition, I debuted as the best all around player in the league.
To keep the Clevelend Cavalier comparisons going, Rubenstein is like Mark Price who was an ok player in a below average league and eventually got old, sloppy, and took advantage of the fans by taking plays off. The Cav's fans however still thought he was good even when he was past his prime, because they had no one other than an aging Brad Daugherty to compare him too. That is until Lebron showed up. Then they realized Mark Price was a turd, and forgot about him. The same thing that Rubenstein's 12 readers will do to him.
Moving on. The Oregon softball team opens regional play today in North Carolina. As long as none of our players are distraught from having their female lovers break up with them i like our chances.
Also, in appears Ernie Kent just offered a basketball scholarship to Michael Bostic. This is one scouts take on him " His offense is very limited, and he basically did nothing when he got the ball." He will fit right in with Oregon's big men. Flo Hartenstein, Adam Zahn, Brian "I have the mobility of an unplugged refrigerator" Helquist. The Oregon big man dynasty lives on.
Anyways i am really hungry and craving some cream cheese right now, so BaldingReport out.
I thought my impact on the blogosphere would be subdued at first and then pick up steam as more people became aware of how awesome my blog really was. But i clearly underestimated myself.
For comparison, I thought i would be like Jermaine O'neal where i sit on the bench and toil for a few years before breaking out. But to my surprise i am much more like Lebron, where despite the lofty expectations and the tough transition, I debuted as the best all around player in the league.
To keep the Clevelend Cavalier comparisons going, Rubenstein is like Mark Price who was an ok player in a below average league and eventually got old, sloppy, and took advantage of the fans by taking plays off. The Cav's fans however still thought he was good even when he was past his prime, because they had no one other than an aging Brad Daugherty to compare him too. That is until Lebron showed up. Then they realized Mark Price was a turd, and forgot about him. The same thing that Rubenstein's 12 readers will do to him.
Moving on. The Oregon softball team opens regional play today in North Carolina. As long as none of our players are distraught from having their female lovers break up with them i like our chances.
Also, in appears Ernie Kent just offered a basketball scholarship to Michael Bostic. This is one scouts take on him " His offense is very limited, and he basically did nothing when he got the ball." He will fit right in with Oregon's big men. Flo Hartenstein, Adam Zahn, Brian "I have the mobility of an unplugged refrigerator" Helquist. The Oregon big man dynasty lives on.
Anyways i am really hungry and craving some cream cheese right now, so BaldingReport out.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Dilemma
For all 12 of you who checked Rubenstein's blog today dying for an update, you will find dissapointment as usual. Instead of penning his thoughts to his devoted readers, im sure Dan is out interviewing fans as the "CIF JV High School Baseball Guide". Neverless i am here blogging away because i realize i answer to a higher authority than my own personal interests, and because i am out to prove that Dan Rubenstein is a lackey who couldnt blog his way out of Paris Hilton's Vagina.
Since today was a slow news day (UO Sports wise, and politically) I will ignore my core issues and instead give the readers an update on Eugene, OR resident Justin Samudio (Yes thee Justin Samudio)
Justin is debating wether he wants to break up with his girlfriend or not. On the one hand she works at a bagel shop so she has a pretty good food connection, but on the other hand she is a complete bitch who acts like she has sand in her vagina at all times. So needless to say it is a tough call or as some might say, a dilemma.
Personally i think he should dump this Albino nightmare because he often avoids alcohol because he is attending to her needs. Anyone who knows Justin knows he is one of the top 5 drunks of all time and is in fact doing the Eugene community a disservice by not being drunk at every possible moment. The supreme court of Justin Samudio should rule GAME OVER on this hussy and send her packing.
The BaldingReport Out
Since today was a slow news day (UO Sports wise, and politically) I will ignore my core issues and instead give the readers an update on Eugene, OR resident Justin Samudio (Yes thee Justin Samudio)
Justin is debating wether he wants to break up with his girlfriend or not. On the one hand she works at a bagel shop so she has a pretty good food connection, but on the other hand she is a complete bitch who acts like she has sand in her vagina at all times. So needless to say it is a tough call or as some might say, a dilemma.
Personally i think he should dump this Albino nightmare because he often avoids alcohol because he is attending to her needs. Anyone who knows Justin knows he is one of the top 5 drunks of all time and is in fact doing the Eugene community a disservice by not being drunk at every possible moment. The supreme court of Justin Samudio should rule GAME OVER on this hussy and send her packing.
The BaldingReport Out
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Game On
Ok, so this is my first experience at blogging. I am starting this blog as a response to Dan Rubenstein who is a hack, yet somehow has managed to convince his friends to read his blog for over a year. I figure if someone as incompetent as Andy Ludwig can actually get 13 people to read a blog, imagine what someone as talented as myself will be able to achieve.
My biggest peeve at Rubenstein is how he fraudulently claims to be an Oregon sports insider (yet didnt even know Jackie Bates was kicked off the team for shattering a bottle on a guys nose, and that Brady Leaf's left foot is actually webbed). Are we really supposed to take this guy seriously when his head looks like it belongs as an obstacle at a minature golf course.
Another complaint his 12 readers have about Rubenstein is his non-sports commentary. Rubenstein comments on a variety of social issues in his blog, such as his latest attempt at putting mustard on a hotdog, or how he feels about illiterate horse jockeys. Look, i understand that these are pressing issues that the world is demanding coverage on, but come on. Instead of wasting his time talking about his man-crush on Tommy Lasorda, Rubenstein should talk about real issues like how is Oregon gonna replace Aaron Brooks at the point, or why Oregon gives scholarships to overrated California football players who haven't done shit.
So needless to say since Rubenstein's blog is a complete joke, i felt compelled to start my own blog where i promise I will outblog him everyday of the week. To satisfy his 12 existing readers and attempt to have them read my blog instead of his, i will also will be offering extensive coverage of L.A hearthrob Kevin Sully, as well as bonus coverage of Eugene, OR village idiot Justin Samudio.
Fans should check the BALDINGREPORT every day since i will update it daily, unlike Rubenstein who only posts after he sees something he can copy from another blog.
I look forward to a long and prosperous journey with my fans. Balding Out.
My biggest peeve at Rubenstein is how he fraudulently claims to be an Oregon sports insider (yet didnt even know Jackie Bates was kicked off the team for shattering a bottle on a guys nose, and that Brady Leaf's left foot is actually webbed). Are we really supposed to take this guy seriously when his head looks like it belongs as an obstacle at a minature golf course.
Another complaint his 12 readers have about Rubenstein is his non-sports commentary. Rubenstein comments on a variety of social issues in his blog, such as his latest attempt at putting mustard on a hotdog, or how he feels about illiterate horse jockeys. Look, i understand that these are pressing issues that the world is demanding coverage on, but come on. Instead of wasting his time talking about his man-crush on Tommy Lasorda, Rubenstein should talk about real issues like how is Oregon gonna replace Aaron Brooks at the point, or why Oregon gives scholarships to overrated California football players who haven't done shit.
So needless to say since Rubenstein's blog is a complete joke, i felt compelled to start my own blog where i promise I will outblog him everyday of the week. To satisfy his 12 existing readers and attempt to have them read my blog instead of his, i will also will be offering extensive coverage of L.A hearthrob Kevin Sully, as well as bonus coverage of Eugene, OR village idiot Justin Samudio.
Fans should check the BALDINGREPORT every day since i will update it daily, unlike Rubenstein who only posts after he sees something he can copy from another blog.
I look forward to a long and prosperous journey with my fans. Balding Out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)