I missed week 1 of college football because I was to busy getting my haircut for the first time in several years. I went from the "stoner girl look" to the "lesbian going through Chemotherapy look" Sadly i am told the stoner girl was more appealing.
On to other news......
Christopher Balding is off traveling through Europe after the Republican Party refused to endorse him and provide him any funds for his campaign. Hopefully he remembers that he is traveling not as a candidate but as a citizen.
Also I was hanging out with some new people the other day and it was frightening to realize how the new lingo has passed me bye. Here I was thinking that I am in the know with what is going on but these people were using phrases I had never heard before like "he got that swag when he walks.” Anyway I came up with some new phrases that I can use when I hang out with cool people again.
Keep it bowlin’ – Everyone likes bowling (some WAY more than others), so this is a phrase for when you want to tell someone to stay positive. For example, if someone tells you they lost their job, you can just tell them to keep it bowlin’ and that’ll cheer them up.
Ploppers – This means bad. “Did you see that movie last night? It was ploppers.”
Horribly obese – I’m taking this one step further than the people i hung out with. They say things are fat all the time, so I took it a step further. In this case, it means the most beautiful ever. If a foxy dame comes walking in, you can call her horribly obese. I think it might take some time before it catches on, so use this one with caution because some broads may not have heard it yet and could take it the wrong way.
Willy fingers – Perhaps the hardest to explain, but you get willy fingers when you really want to fight someone. “When my neighbor was yelling at me for making to much noise, I really started getting willy fingers.” Your fingers start moving real fast and itching because they want to hit something – that’s the willy fingers.
Anyway.....Oregon football opened their season up with a ho-hum 34 point win over Washington. I am pretty convinced after that game that Jeremiah Masoli will end up starting for the next 2 and a half years after the game. He just seems to have a swagger that Roper doesn't. Plus Roper is slower than a pregnant Rebecca Noble. I just keep seeing visions of Brady Leaf when Roper pulls down the ball to run.
I also made gambling picks for week 2 of the college football season. Remember gambling winnings are taxable so be sure to have one of your friends actually place the bet for you!
The winner is on the left (Note to all you dumbasses out there...these are picks against the spread not for who is gonna win straight up)
| Michigan State -21 vs Eastern Michigan | |||
| Syracuse -4 vs Akron | |||
| Miami OH +14 @ Michigan | |||
| Duke +6 vs Northwestern | |||
| Georgia Tech +6.5 @ BC | |||
| West Virginia -8 @ East Carolina | |||
| Bowling Green -5 Minnesota | |||
| Southern Miss +18 @ Auburn | |||
| Nebraska -27 vs San Jose State | |||
| Tulane +29.5 @ Alabama | |||
| Oregon -35.5 vs Utah State | |||
| Cincy +22.5 @ Oklahoma | |||
| Ohio State -33.5 vs Ohio | |||
| Marshall +20.5 @ Wisconsin | |||
| Miami +23 @ Florida | |||
| Texas Tech -10 @ Nevada | |||
| Georgia -24 vs Central Michigan | |||
| Oregon State +15 @ Penn State | |||
| Air Force +3 @ Wyoming | |||
| Washington +9 vs BYU | |||
| Notre Dame -22 vs SDSU | |||
| Texas AM -2 @ New Mexico | |||
| Pittsburgh -13.5 vs Buffalo | |||
| Houston +15.5@ Oklahoma State | |||
| Kent State+7 @ Iowa State | |||
| Wake Forest -7.5 vs Ole Miss | |||
| Cal -13.5 @ Washington State | |||
| Western Michigan -6.5 vs Northern Illinois | |||
| South Florida -13.5 @ Central Florida | |||
| Temple +6.5 vs UCONN | |||
| Kansas -20.5 vs La Tech | |||
| Rice +3 @ Memphis | |||
| Utah -21.5 vs UNLV | |||
| Arizona -23 vs Arizona | |||
| Arizona State -14 vs Stanford | |||
| UTEP +26.5 vs Texas | |||
| FIU +26.5 @ Iowa | |||
| UL Monroe +13.5 @ Arkansas | |||
| North Texas -22 vs Tulsa | |||
| FAU -12.5 vs UAB | |||
| Middle Tennessee State +12.5 vs Maryland | |||
