Helping The Poor

Earlier today I was checking my tally meter to see how many people had visited my blog and i saw that of the 541 people who checked my blog on Saturday, over 500 of them were from third world nations.

While I am not sure what draws poor people to the BaldingReport, i do feel sympathy for them. It is because of this sympathy that I am offering these readers a chance to escape their poverty by posting my picks for week 1 of the college football season. By betting on the teams I tell them to, the poor people who read the BaldingReport will not only be able to feed their families, but will also tell their friends about their successes. Then those friends will log onto the BaldingReport and start making money off of my gambling predictions and the cycle will continue to grow. Note to Bush Administration: This is how you nation build

As a convenience to my readers I have made picks for every college football game in week 1. (just in case the local bookie in New Delhi only offers a few games)

In case some of you don't know gambling symbols, I listed the team you should bet on is listed on the left and is in bold.

For example the first game that is listed is a game where Miami of Ohio is at Ball State. Miami OH is the underdog by 6 points hence they have the +6 by their name. If Miami were favored to win the game by 6, they would have a -6 by there name instead of the +6. The team that you should bet on is always listed on the left.

Anyway its on to the picks!!

Miami OH +6 @ Ball State
The Ghost of Ben Rothelsberger leads Miami to the victory

Buffalo +32 @ Rutgers
Hopefully Buffalo borrows some players from the Bills

Mississippi State +18.5 vs LSU
LSU lost 4 1st round picks, and breaks in a new QB in conference opener

Iowa State -3.5 vs Kent State
Iowa is a better state than Kent

Utah State +7 vs UNLV
Mormons > Prostitutes

Utah +7 @ Oregon State
OSU copies Oregon again by deciding to go with a 2 QB system

Tulsa -4 @ UL-Monroe
Just trust me on this, Tulsa is actually good

Navy -21 @ Temple
Support our troops (ok, support our sailors)

Syracuse +3 vs Washington
Syracuse is less bad, and at home

Western Michigan +24 @ West Virginia
Western Michigan had the #6 ranked defense in the country in 2006

Virginia Tech -24 vs East Carolina
Vick runs kennel at Lane stadium so be sure to bring pet for family fun

Miami -18 vs Marshall
The U has like 19 potential first round picks on roster

UAB +20 @ Michigan State
Michigan State never quite puts it together

Connecticut -5 @ Duke
This would be a great basketball match up

Wyoming +4.5 vs Virginia
Virginia is the worst team in the ACC

Nevada +21 @ Nebraska
first ever meeting between "N" states

Ole Miss -2.5 @Memphis
The worst team in the SEC is still better than a 2-10 C-USA team

Northern Iowa +12 vs Iowa
Kirk Ferentz is a wannabe Mike Bellotti

Oregon -14 vs Houston
Bellotti is 7-1 in last 8 non-conference home games vs spread

Wisconsin -14 vs Washington State
Alex Brink is QB for WSU which is all you need to know

Georgia Tech +2.5 @ Notre Dame
Not even Bean Cook thinks ND can win this one

Missouri -5 @ Illinois
Battle for St. Louis

Stanford +17 vs UCLA
Sadly for Bruins, best passer at UCLA is Kevin Love

Boston College -6 vs Wake Forest
Jesuits beat non-believing liberal art students

Arizona +5.5@BYU
As long as Tuitama plays, Arizona will surprise

Akron -5-5 vs Army
Don't support the troops in week 1

UCF +7.5 @ N.C. State
I just flipped a coin on this one

Baylor +21 @TCU
Only Baylor player drafted in the past 5 years was the Punter

Georgia -6 vs Oklahoma State
Hershel Walker vs Barry Sanders

Central Michigan +7.5 @ Kansas
Even just the central part of Michigan is better than Kansas

Colorado -2.5 vs Colorado State
Colorado will surprise in the Big 12

Pitt -20 vs Eastern Michigan
Nobody really cares about this game, but Eastern Michigan stinks

Purdue -7 @ Toledo
Purdue returns like 30 starters

Auburn -13 vs Kansas State
Auburn is already complaining about the BCS Rankings

Minnesota -14.5 vs Bowling Green
Remember when Urban Meyer was at Bowling Green

Cal -6 vs Tennessee
Not even protesters can slow Cal down

Utep +3 vs New Mexico
Mike Price will be so happy after this one that he will be with two strippers not just 1

San Jose State +14.5 @Arizona State
Revenge for Dick Tomey

USC -45 vs Idaho
Haves vs Have nots

FIU +37.5 vs Penn State
Paterno will actually coach this one from his casket

Texas -38.5 vs Arkansas State
Vince Young's forehead could be Arkansas State

Oklahoma -40 vs North Texas
OU President demands forfeit before game even starts

UL-Lafayette-29 @South Carolina
South Carolina starting QB is suspended so go with underdog

Troy +24 @Arkansas
All of Arkansas good players transferred to USC

FAU -2 vs MTSU
I dont even know what these abbreviations mean

Texas Tech - 8.5 @SMU
Texas Tech finally lives up to its legendary PS2 status

Clemson +3 vs FSU
Always bet against the old Bowden

BaldingReport Out.