A Sobering Reality

After my critically acclaimed posts of the past few days I began envisioning how my rise to blog stardom would shape itself. I imagined being quoted by legendary sports writer Ron Bellamy or perhaps duking it out on 1320AM with the Sports Idol himself. However my dreams took a sharp detour this afternoon after a discussion with friend of the blog Kevin Sully.

He informed me that I should look at how many hits my blog has gotten so i could accurately see how my rise to glory was shaping itself. I couldn't find a way to look at how many hits i had gotten, but i was able to find a website that measures web site popularity.

I was certain that this site would prove many things:
1) My blog is way more popular than anything Dan Rubenstein has ever produced
2) My blog had gone global
3) I was a force to be reckoned within the blogosphere community.

As i punched in the data my arms began to tingle with anticipation. After all the negative publicity i endured during my initial posts, my redemption was going to be sweeter than Aaron Brooks' was.

Then came the report.

My score: 0

I was shocked. According to this report my blog was less influential than websites such as popcornpalace.com and The Mattson Family Journal, a family journal that chronicles the life of
of a baby with no apparent upside or wingspan.

In light of these shocking revelations i must ask my loyal readers to spread the word about the BaldingReport. Melissa, I know you have hot friends who should be reading this right now.

I also ran a report on Rubenstein's blog to find out how negative his rating was. I was surprised to find out that his influence was rated a 28. While above 0, it is still below the rating of 257 that the popcorn site registered. The race to 29 is on.

BaldingReport Out.